To My First Love

I’ve figured it out. I haven’t been able to let you go. It’s been five years since we officially ended things. You were my first love. I was there for you when no one else was. Now that we’ve both grown up and moved on to be comfortable in our adult lives, I want a taste of what I never truly had. You said that you feel as if I still know you better than anyone. I feel the truth in that.

I still miss you. I never let you hide the person your family never wanted me to see. I saw the real you. I knew your past didn’t define who you were. (And it doesn’t define who you are today.) I wanted to help you move through your issues. I loved you as you were. I know you’re probably thinking, ‘we were naive and in high school. We didn’t know what we wanted.’ Yes, that’s true. But a part of me is still holding on to you.

It’s been hard to let you go completely. I’ve never been able to trust anyone in a relationship, since then. I put so much trust in you and I was let down every single time. As I’m trying to figure out my faith and where my life is going, I’m having to take bandages off of wounds that were never healed. I covered them so people wouldn’t see that I was hurting. I have to feel the pain so I’m able to heal.

I appreciate that we’re both still able to talk to each other and relate. Even if we don’t talk every day, I know you’ll always be there as a friend to confide in. You truly are an amazing person and I am proud of you. Whether you get to read this blog or not, I needed to let you know where I stand today. I love you, WLT.