Reflecting Over 2016

I went into 2016 with "faith" as my focus word. As many days as I've had where I've felt like the progress I've made hasn't really gone anywhere, I know that I am not the same person I was a year ago because of my faith. I have learned more about myself this year, and will never stop learning who I am. 

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the

conviction of things not seen." 

-Hebrews 11:1

I've never really taken the time to reflect on my years, in the past. But I feel as if this year was so incredibly life changing for me, I have to look back and just thank God for everything He did for me. I don't want to make this a really lengthly blog. I could go on and on about the details in everything that happened, but I'll try to spare your time.

I'm looking through my notes from this year. On 1/1/16, I wrote, "I am writing this down so I can look back on it in a year and perhaps be proud of myself. I need to search within myself to find the doors to the rooms I've locked where I hid things inside. I'm not expecting this year to be easy. It's going to be rough. All of this is easier said than done. But I want to see progress. In the past three months, my eyes have been opened to some incredible things. I don't want that to stop. I need to find real people I can trust. I need to hold onto the hope that things will get better, even though I should not expect that they will."

Isn't this amazing? I had hope for change and I still hold onto that same hope, especially since I have seen progress. I did connect with some amazing people. I'm constantly inspired by those people to "just keep swimming through this shitshow of life." I let go of holding expectations. I'm learning to not be in control. I am learning to love God so I can continue to love people. I unlocked some of the doors and will search those rooms to pull out the roots of what happened and figure out why. I am continuously seeing progress even if it doesn't seem like I'm getting anywhere. I am learning that God's timing is more important than my own. I am learning to love myself so I can be proud of who I truly am.

This year I was blessed by some amazing things. I was blessed by meeting some wonderful people. I was blessed with a car, surprisingly given to me by my parents. I was blessed with the power of music by attending shows (23 concerts to be exact). I was blessed with a church that I love. I was blessed with being able to take several road trips. I was blessed with the love of Nashville and found out the reasons why I'm being led to move there. I was blessed with the ability and realization that I really can love people.

I think my goals for 2017 are the same as 2016. I want to continue to pursue my faith. But I think my focus word for this year is, "listen". I need to listen to God's voice. I need to pray about where He is truly leading me. I have to talk about everything with Him, including myself, and those around me. I want to continue searching for who I am by getting to know Him.  

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of various kinds,

for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be

perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

-James 1:2-4