My birthday is tomorrow, May 26th. I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift, but I love puns and I love making references. So her song, "22", has been my anthem for the past year. I'm sure it's every 22 year old's song. However now, "What's My Age Again", by Blink 182, will be my anthem. "Nobody likes you when you're 23." Is the line that really sticks out. I use it as sarcasm because I know I'm loved by many.
In the past year, I went to twelve concerts, met a few of my Internet friends, took four road trips, got fired from my job, was given a car by my amazing parents, forgave some people that I was bitter towards, and most importantly I started my journey of faith. This past year has been one of the most hardest years I've ever been through. Sure, at 22, you're thinking, "You're gonna have years more difficult than this one." Even though I'm not expecting it, I do look forward to them. I have learned more about myself in the past year, than I ever have. I'm still learning and want to know more. However I cannot do that without the help of my friends, family, and the grace of God.
If you're wondering why I haven't posted a blog in a while, it's because I started a personal journal that I write in daily. I'm more honest with myself when I know only I, or my CLOSEST friends/family, will see it. There's something much more powerful when you physically write what you feel rather than typing it. I suppose it's the same, yet it's different. I encourage y'all to start a journal. You'll be surprised to know how freeing it is when you do!
I think the most important thing I've learned recently is that feelings are not facts. However within feelings, are facts with reasons behind them. Every time I tell myself that I'm feeling something, I ask myself, "Am I exaggerating this? Do I really feel this way? Do I feel sorry for myself?" I quickly stop and continue talking or writing it out.
For this blog, I really just wanted to give you all a quick update. I've learned that not everyone needs to know every part of my story. There have been some things that I have posted before to get attention. I'm doing everything I can to not be that person anymore. I've realized that it was incredibly draining. I've learned to be more honest with myself and those around me. Though I may still be opinionated, I am learning to think before I speak. I'm needing to be vulnerable with myself before I'm able to move on.
God does not want you to live in your shame. He wants you to bring it to the light. He knows everything you're going through and there is no reason to hide it. Be honest with yourself and be mindful of Him.
"When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which You have set in place,
what is man that You are mindful of him,
and the son of man that You care for him?"
-PSALM 8:3-4
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