RIP Christina Grimmie

About a month ago I found out that my internet friend, Jesse, was coming to Atlanta for Christina Grimmie's show. I wanted to try to hang out with him while he was here but the timing of it wasn't going to work out. A few days later, he offered to buy my ticket and eventually our plans started to fall into place. I never really listened to her music. I knew she was a YouTuber and that she did several collabs with other artists that I follow. The day before the show, I surfed through her channel and wasn't really into it. But I was optimistic that after hearing her live, I would become a fan.

On Thursday, I met Jesse and we went to sit under a tree in Centennial Olympic Park. We talked about life, Alex G (who is who we met through), music, fires, dogs, traveling, and our excitement for the show. We went to grab food and headed over to the Vinyl [venue]. Jesse ended up locking his keys in his car and we waited for AAA to get there. The driver arrived minutes before the show started. He got his keys out and and we walked into the venue. We picked a spot in the back to stand. If you know me, you know I'm usually one of the first few at venues so I can get to a good spot. Since I didn't know these artists, I was just there to listen.

Christina was one of two opening for the headliner, Before You Exit. The first opener was a kid named Cade. He was talented. His lyrics were well written and his beats were pretty awesome. Before going into the venue, his father was standing outside waiting on his group of people to arrive. We talked for a minute. I congratulated him on his son fulfilling his dreams and he seemed very supportive.

When Christina came up to perform, we moved up a little closer. I was shocked at how much I really enjoyed her. Her range is incredible. She really engaged the audience and put on a damn good performance! I didn't take many photos but I did record her song, "Liar, Liar". She wrote it as a freshman in high school. It's about a boy who was cheating on his girlfriend with Christina. She mentioned that this was one of her most popular songs. I'm going to upload that tomorrow as part of my Sunday releases. (LINK: https://youtu.be/YF9KtbHWLCY) She mentioned she would be at her merch table after Before You Exit's set. We then moved near her table, so we can get there before a mob, after the show. 

Before You Exit put on a great set! They really engaged the crowd and had some good lyrics. However they were a little too "boy band" for me. They were really good but I've definitely outgrown the "Jo Bro" style bands. I tweeted, "Me and Jesse are in a sea of teenage girls screaming for your typical all star boy band." I still had fun dancing and listening. Christina came up to join them in singing a cover of 'Let It Go' by James Bay. Their harmonies were gorgeous!

After the show, Christina came out. We stood in line to wait our turn. Her guitarist (who I found out to be her brother) was standing next to us, and I said, "You were the guiartist, right? Great job!" He jokingly said, "You caught me!" He mentioned that he loved my Star Wars shirt and we talked about how Jesse was wearing a Star Wars hat but decided to insult me by changing into the Yankees hat. We approached Christina. I first shook her hand, formally. I would've gone in for a hug but I wanted to be sarcastic with it. She also mentioned loving my shirt. I let her know that I've heard of her but never listened to her. She said, "But you will now, right?" I said, "Yes, I'm going to go home and binge watch your channel. The only one I know is the 'How To Love' cover with Tyler Ward." She said, "Oh Tyler is my BAE! I haven't seen him in a while." I let her know that I would tell Tyler "hi". We took our pictures and then left the venue.

Friday night, I was settling into bed. My friend sent me a message with a news article [that was posted within the last thirty minutes] about a shooting that happened at the venue in Orlando they were all playing at. I was in shock. I didn't really want it to be true. The article didn't mention it was Christina who was shot. But I looked at Twitter and confirmed that she was indeed in critical condition. I denied it all, and went to sleep. I woke up with texts and tagged posts about her death. I didn't want to be tagged in anything. Somehow, before looking at my phone, I already knew and I didn't want to be bothered by any of it. I deleted all of my apps so I wouldn't get notifications from it. I needed time to process it and wasn't going to let it affect me at work.

Now that I've had a little time to think about it, I've been talking to God about it: 'Is it okay to cry about this? I didn't really know her. I've never been impacted by something like this. Am I suppose to be upset? I'm being selfish. Sure it's okay to cry. I just feel weird about this entire thing. Like I still can't believe it to be true. But it is.'

I didn't know anything about her. However, many of my other friends have followed her. Many of the other YouTubers I follow, have sent out their messages of love. Many of them were friends with her. I've learned a lot about who she was, in the last ten hours. My heart is at ease knowing that she loved Jesus. In the two minutes I shared with her personally, she was a kind person who loved people. Her passion shined throughout in her performance. I will keep my promise to her and binge watch her channel and will probably do so over and over. 

One of my first thoughts when reading this news was, 'This could have happened in Atlanta. The shooter could have been following them on this tour just to pick their spot.' I know this is a terrible thing to assume firsthand, but it really could've been anywhere for this to happen. And the fact that it happened the night after I interacted with her, makes it hit so much closer to home. 

My heart is with the fans from the venue, who witnessed this terrible tradegy. My heart is with my friends who have been listening to her since the beginning, or after. My heart is with the YouTubers I follow, who were also her friends. My heart is with her family, who supported and loved her endlessly. My heart is with her brother, Mark, who truly is the hero of all of this. And finally, my heart is with God, who she is currently in peace with.

Thank you to my friends who have reached out to me to see if I'm okay. I know I haven't responded to most of you. The truth is, I don't know if I'm okay or not. This past week was stressful for me personally. So I need to take the time to regain my focus on my faith. To anyone reading this, please hug the ones you love. If there's anything I've learned in the past six months, it's, remember to love and forgive to forget. 1 TIMOTHY 4:12